I am not sure why, but for some reason I often forget that I am uncomfortable in situations with large crowds and lots of noise. In such an environment, my immediate thoughts go to establishing an exit strategy and finding a place to stand that is as far as apart from the chaos as possible. I don't think there has been any time in my life in which I didn't feel anxious in such a situation, and so it stands to reason that I would try my level best to avoid participating in one. However, every so often (more often than I can bring myself to believe) the opportunity presents itself to attend an event or function that promises to include unreasonable numbers of strangers in an unfamiliar setting- and I say to myself, "Sure. Why not?"
Well the answer, self, is because we will freak out and end up behaving like a mental patient- often in plain view of acquaintances and strangers alike. It isn't a matter of determination or willpower apparently. No matter how much I'd like to be able to "take one for the team", at that scale I have a 100% track record of reacting poorly.
Such activities seem to include:
• House parties full of strangers that generate large amounts of chaotic stimuli while providing no opportunity for conversation with anyone one person that doesn't include yelling at the top of my lungs.
• Places of business that specialize in erecting as many bouncy houses as physically possible in one large room in which children reenact Lord of the Flies while adults do nothing and pretend that everything is probably "fine."
• I wish that I could think of another specific example here, since a bulletized list with only two bullets seems insufficient, but oh well.
The aftereffects of surviving one of these situations seem to involve an overwhelming desire to take up a mountain hermitage in a remote country and shunning the idea of any further social contact for days. So for the sake of the people whose company I otherwise enjoy in more comfortable circumstances, I gather that I should try and avoid these situations that leave me with a general disdain for humanity at large.
Made me laugh, especially the part about preparing an exit strategy. I always have the same thing in the back of my mind when I'm in that kind of a situation.
ReplyDeleteI also agree about not being able to have a conversation without yelling... I still don't understand why people enjoy conversing in places where they can barely be heard. Usually I want to turn the volume down when I'm at a party or a bar. So you're definitely not alone.
(this is Lance, btw)